I did it, I prayed the prayer that I have been afraid to pray. Anything. I told God simply and plainly that my life is His to do anything He wants with and that I am open and willing to go anywhere and do anything He wants me to do. I want my life to be His completely, surrendering all of my ideas of what I want for my life to Him so that He can write my story. Of course my heart and mind are filled with wonder, what will God call me to do? Anything is possible! It's both scary and exciting!
So this morning I woke up in anticipation, what part of my life is God going to want me to change first? Adopt more kids? Move? Do a type of ministry? Reach out to someone in need? My heart is ready and bursting to see God move through my life and my family. But instead of a bold new direction I felt God whisper something to me. Stop complaining. What was that Lord? Stop complaining. Oh.....
It is true that I complain. A lot. Probably more than I am even aware of. This morning my baby boy woke me up at 5:30 and as I sat in the rocking chair I grumbled to myself about how tired I am, how I miss sleeping in, etc. Later God convicted me. I should have been sitting there thanking God for this beautiful baby that I am blessed to be caring for instead of complaining about sleep.
It's not surprising when I think about it. God is all about our character, our heart, our intentions. He is going to have to start changing my heart before he starts changing my circumstances.
Phillipians 2:14 "Do all things without grumbling or questioning." Let's take this one step at at time :)