Anything

There is an old Steven Curtis Chapman song that sings "There is more to this life, than living and dying, trying to make it through the day..."  That song runs through my mind at least once a week.  It is a reminder to me that this life that I am living here is short, temporary, a breath.  It has gone by so fast already and I know it will continue to speed on.  I am consistently convicted by what I am doing with this life that God had given me.  Am I living it for Him, for His glory, or for myself and my own glory?

I am reading a really challenging book called "Anything" by Jennie Allen and I love and hate how much it is challenging me.  It sat on my coffee table for a month before I began reading because I just had a feeling it was going to push me out of my comfort zone.  Lately I have been way too comfortable in my Christian faith.  Just going through the motions.  I have been feeling that longing, that desire for something more.  I want Christ to feel alive in me, I want to feel like He is working in and through me.  More than anything, like a child wanting to make her daddy proud, I want God to be proud of me.  I want my life to count for something.  In the book she talks about living this life for that one moment, that first unforgettable moment, when you will see Jesus face to face.  That moment is coming.  It could be today or it could be in fifty years but it is coming.  I want to feel nothing but pure JOY and to know in my heart that I lived this life on earth that He gave me to honor Him.  The book is about opening up your heart and life to him in the most drastic way possible by saying Anything Lord.  That He can do ANYthing with your life, he can take anything, he can change anything, he can shape your life into Anything that He feels is best.  I have not yet prayed that prayer.  To be honest, I am just not there yet.  I sooo want to be but I am still holding on to many fears of the unknown that are crippling my trust.

Jennie says, "We press through the doubt and fears and we trust because God is trustworthy, and he know how life is best lived.  The more we jump and see our God come alive around us, the more we jump without fear--and the bigger the cliffs get."  The more you jump when God asks you to, the less scary that jump is and so then he will give you higher cliffs to jump, bigger challenges because He draws us close to him through these risks that we take.  With each page of this book I am getting more and more excited about God and what He wants to do in my life.  I hope to say Anything to Him soon.  Have any of you said Anything to him?? All I know is that to those that do, their lives are never the same.

How deep

How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure That He should give His only Son To make a wretch His treasure How great the pain of searing loss, The Father turns His face away As wounds which mar the chosen One, Bring many sons to glory Behold the Man upon a cross, My sin upon His shoulders Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers It was my sin that left Him there Until it was accomplished His dying breath has brought me life I know that it is finished I will not boast in anything No gifts, no power, no wisdom But I will boast in Jesus Christ His death and resurrection Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer But this I know with all my heart His wounds have paid my ransom (REPEAT) This song gets me every time. It has been running through my head this morning. I have been having a tough time with my kids and just life in general. This song grounds me and reminds me to be humble, accept his forgiveness, and trust in his promises.

Good news

The blessings have been overflowing here lately! We are feeling so overwhelmed by God's exceedingly abundantly great work in our life. First bit of good news is that we now have a baby! Our soon to be adopted sons' birth mom had a baby a few weeks ago and we were blessed that the County chose to place him with us. He is a beautiful angelic little boy. I am so in love :). So far it is looking like his case will be moving to adoption as well so we are thrilled. Secondly my husband got a JOB today!!! Praise the Lord! We have been praying and waiting and hoping for this day for months. He starts this Monday and the job is perfectly suited to his gifts and abilities. We are pretty happy :) Romans 12:12 is a verse that God gave me the day we got our new son. It says "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.". These are the words that have gotten me through the last few weeks and will get me through the months to come. Did I mention that God is good? :)

Life is Hard

I have discovered over the years that life is very hard at times. This is one of those times. Again. My husband and I have moved seven times in the past eight years. He has had ten different jobs in those years as well. We have had eight years of infertility and two miraculous adoptions. It has been a rough, rocky road, with some fun turns but a lot of potholes that have left us clinging to our God for hope and perseverance. I still believe He has a plan for our family. Over the years I have often clung to my two favorite verses:

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will carry you through."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future."

We are in a place of trust once again. My husband started his own consulting company last fall and immediately acquired three great clients. We were doing better than ever. Than out of nowhere all three clients quit in March. We couldn't believe it. My husband has been relentlessly trying to find a job ever since. As most people are aware it is really tough out there. My consistent prayer has been for stability. Stability in a job, stability in our church home, stability in our home/location, just plain old stability. Stability is the one thing we have yet to experience in our marriage/family.

If you are reading this and could spare a prayer for us we would appreciate it. Also if you know of any job leads we would gladly love to hear about them as well. Right now we are completely open to anything.

I am just so thankful that our faith has remained stable after all this time. We know that God loves us and is working on things that we can't see. We want to be faithful to Him above all else. Because he has always been so faithful to us.

Amazing

This past weekend I went on a women's retreat with my church and it was amazing!  And now I definitely know why Satan didn't want me to go.

The first night there God blessed me to be able to help a 52 year old woman discover why she needed Jesus in her heart, and I got to witness her open up her heart and life to HIM!  She accepted Christ and almost immediately you could see the scales fall from her eyes and her heart fill with peace.  We laughed and cried and rejoiced! It was amazing. 

During the next two days God used me to share, console, bless, encourage, exhort, and love on about 7 other women.  He put me in the right  places at the right times and gave me the words to speak.  I felt God living and moving within me for the first time in months, maybe years, and it was awesome.  Usually people go on women's retreats to see what God wants to teach them.  God ended up bringing me on this trip to be there for others.  It felt so good to be used by Him, I felt like I was right where He wanted me to be. 

I want to feel like that everyday.  I want to live IN His presence.  I want to feel that my life is an act of worship, not just the songs I sing.  God really impressed it on my heart that I need to serve, I need to be aware of the needs of the people around me and do whatever I can to help meet those needs. 

Andy and I both have been going through a sort of spiritual transformation over the last few months.  It's like that verse Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared IN ADVANCE for us to do."  I feel like God is preparing us for something that he wants us to do as a family.  Whether that is a ministry, a mission, or church leadership, we don't know yet.  But our job right now is to allow God to work on us, shape us, mold us, so that we can be in the right place to be used by Him when that time comes. 

I am so glad I squashed all those fears over going on this retreat.  God is sooo good and I can't wait to see what else He has in store for our life :)

Black, Gray, and White

The past month or so I have been praying about taking my faith to the next level.  The one area of my life that I haven't given over to God completely is the TV shows that I watch.  Every week at church I come away feeling like God wants to me to let go of this area of my life and let Him guide what I watch.  This past Sunday our pastor talked about not letting even a hint of immorality into your life, which includes laughing at coarse jokes.  Well, we all know that TV is chock full of coarse jokes.  Even some of the most innocent shows have parts of crude humor.  I have been talking to my husband about this and he agrees but is also struggling with completely letting go of some show that we have been watching for years.  It's like being in the middle of a book and having to put it down and not know the ending.  It's not exactly easy.  So we decided to put the shows we like into categories.  Black shows are the ones with very blatant sexual themes or characters that have anti-Christian beliefs.  Gray shows are the ones where the story line doesn't revolve around sin but there are small amounts of sexual content or violence in side stories within the show.  White shows are plainly just shows that we feel comfortable watching with our kids in the room.  We decided to completely remove the black shows, keep the gray shows only on the TV in our bedroom and the white shows on the TV in the family room.  It sounds easy enough but it is not.  It has been one week and we have already cheated and watched a few of the black shows.  The goal of course is to watch less TV, spend more time with my kids and husband,  read more books, and grow more in my walk with God.  I think most people's black, gray, and white lists might be different based on your struggles and what God lays on your heart.  I am sure you are wondering what is on our lists and I am happy to share a few.

Black shows:  Grey's Anatomy, Modern Family, Mike & Molly, How I Met Your Mother, Glee, 2 Broke Girls, anything on MTV.
Gray shows: Mentalist, Hart of Dixie, Pretty Little Liars, the Bachelor
White shows: American Idol, Survivor, Amazing Race, HGTV, ESPN, Pioneer Woman, Once Upon a Time

There are a few more but I can't remember them now.  It is so easy in our lives to just let things slip in and have an influence over us without even realizing it.  Many of these shows seem so innocent but they really do impact the way you think and view the world.  I want to live a life that pleases God, and often time that will require sacrifice.  If I have to sacrifice a few TV shows to get there, it is definitely worth it.

Bargain Furniture Makeovers

So as you know I have recently gotten into upcycling old furniture pieces to make them more modern and fun!  Last weekend while my husband was painting the tallest wall in our house a beautiful blue I was doing some painting of my own.  Over the past few weeks I found a child size rocking chair and a "phone table" from the sixties at Goodwill and a garage sale.  I also found an awesome end table on the side of the road.  I sanded them and painted them and they are like new!  It is so fun to transform something unwanted and distressed into something beautiful! :)

Rocking Chair (before):

 Rocking Chair (after):

 Phone Table (before):

 Phone Table (after):

End table (before):  This is the only pic I took. It had green legs and a wood top.

End table (after):  

I absolutely am loving these little projects!  If you have an old piece of furniture, don't give up on it!! Give it a new coat of paint and you might just find it will become your favorite piece!! :)