There is an old Steven Curtis Chapman song that sings "There is more to this life, than living and dying, trying to make it through the day..." That song runs through my mind at least once a week. It is a reminder to me that this life that I am living here is short, temporary, a breath. It has gone by so fast already and I know it will continue to speed on. I am consistently convicted by what I am doing with this life that God had given me. Am I living it for Him, for His glory, or for myself and my own glory?
I am reading a really challenging book called "Anything" by Jennie Allen and I love and hate how much it is challenging me. It sat on my coffee table for a month before I began reading because I just had a feeling it was going to push me out of my comfort zone. Lately I have been way too comfortable in my Christian faith. Just going through the motions. I have been feeling that longing, that desire for something more. I want Christ to feel alive in me, I want to feel like He is working in and through me. More than anything, like a child wanting to make her daddy proud, I want God to be proud of me. I want my life to count for something. In the book she talks about living this life for that one moment, that first unforgettable moment, when you will see Jesus face to face. That moment is coming. It could be today or it could be in fifty years but it is coming. I want to feel nothing but pure JOY and to know in my heart that I lived this life on earth that He gave me to honor Him. The book is about opening up your heart and life to him in the most drastic way possible by saying Anything Lord. That He can do ANYthing with your life, he can take anything, he can change anything, he can shape your life into Anything that He feels is best. I have not yet prayed that prayer. To be honest, I am just not there yet. I sooo want to be but I am still holding on to many fears of the unknown that are crippling my trust.
Jennie says, "We press through the doubt and fears and we trust because God is trustworthy, and he know how life is best lived. The more we jump and see our God come alive around us, the more we jump without fear--and the bigger the cliffs get." The more you jump when God asks you to, the less scary that jump is and so then he will give you higher cliffs to jump, bigger challenges because He draws us close to him through these risks that we take. With each page of this book I am getting more and more excited about God and what He wants to do in my life. I hope to say Anything to Him soon. Have any of you said Anything to him?? All I know is that to those that do, their lives are never the same.